So my early years experience with girls was a weird one.... perhaps there was competition, jealousy and hatred running underneath that I wasnt aware of.... but In school I could definately see the pecking order.... I was smacked by a couple of girls in my first year at big school and quickly fell into line.... realising how to stay safe was to be friends with everyone, people please or ass kiss, keep the harder ones on my side and surround myself with friends.
But the bitchiness ran so deep... girls would often twist your words, stab you in the back or gossip... Boys seemed to be way easier, so after going through so many friends, being quite often heartbroken by the treatment of girls I held dearly, I would hang out more with guys - until they turned out to be assholes too.
The communities I grew up in were always serving a purpose, someone to lean on, someone to have your back, groups of friends to hang out with... but years on i barely know any of them.
It was never true community, where you were allowed to be your own self and loved for it... nurtured into the best and free version of you and celebrated. No it was more laughed at and bullied for daring to hold your head high or go against the grain. Gone as soon as you had served your purpose onto the next shiney thing.
No I didn't have the best experience of community or girls growing up.
It wasn't until I started going to womens circles in Berlin... where a big collective I became a part of via the online mandala world (another womens healing project) would gather and express the tensions and the traumas we held, from relating with other women.
We healed, we sang, we cried and we danced together - we built trust, we formed bonds, we grew... and for sure I healed so much in those circles.
Returning to the UK 5 years ago I found the same bitchy groups doing the same bitchy things, clinging to eachother in fear and judgement of the rest.
I tried to join them, go along with them, but it never worked out.
I forget sometimes just how much work I have done.
My clients are the diamonds that I find within these communities back home... god knows how they find me, I think they have to be ready to face their bullshit otherwise they get too triggered by me to approach... the ones who are ready to just give up and surrender -- more often these girl gangs might dip their toes in, curious to what they might be missing out on, but they are too much "holding it together" or keeping up appearances to actually dive into my work properly, and die the death that is perhaps needed to get over this egotistical time that we are currently living.
No my clients, often mothers or those who didnt fit in, or have been through hell - there are many examples but I can see who you all are....
I do wonder if we are the ones who are just meant to learn the breathwork for future times because most are definately not in no way ready just now!!
So with all of this in mind... and seeing how malnourished many of us are, without having had that community support, that womens circle and gathering with others for healing, not just for gossip or alcohol. But for replenishing and to build our strong foundations of the communities we live in, feeling supported by a strong group of women as it should be.
So I have decided to start up womens circles again... It's been many years since i delved into this area, i briefly dabbled.... holding circles in the UK and ultimately holding a medicine retreat in Costa Rica - a beautiful experience though confronting in many ways, .....and then I was disappointed again by many women in my personal life, women I had thought of and treated as family, women i trusted, women I perhaps was still codependant on. Women would still disrespect me, patronise me and turn on me given half a chance..... well, turns out I still had so much more healing to do... But now, years on and from a much more healed and grounded place, I am feeling called to come back to this offering.
We need to heal our relationships with eachother as women.
I think many have been burnt so much that we fear, we pretend, we maybe even hold others at a distance and rightly so !!
Not everyone has done the work to be safe, to be gentle, to be honest, to be fair, to truly care and have compassion.
So in womens circles we create a safe space of respect, friendship, acceptance and freedom to evolve and nuture ourselves within so that we are not just freestyling life without a strong support system. We embrace our differences and are encouraged to bring our colourful raw selves.
Please drop me a message if this is speaking to you, and I will consider all options for a venue... either a smaller one in Newark, or if more are up for it we can branch out to Purusha.... cheap and cheerful or luxurious, talk to me.
A few hours mid week on an evening, or
a saturday night sleepover.... all suggestions and preferences welcome whilst i birth this.
The evenings - perhaps monthly - would include sharing, healing, and connecting in ways that will leave you feeling revitalised and born again into the wonderful and magical witches (yes witches) that we are. Reclaiming our magic...... and we will bring food to share too, so an enjoyable and magical evening for us all to bathe in and nourish ourselves like we deserve.
(as i type im imagining in front of purushas roaring fire - but please message me if this sounds a bit of you, we can decide where is best)
Womens circle is going to make a return..... so if you are feeling the call......
Let me hear your YES or your input xxxxx
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