Conversations with God. My testimony.

The frustrations I have experienced in the last few years have been insurmountable. A broken van, more betrayals… family member sickness & rejection… disrespect and disloyalty… then difficulties inspiring people to do the healing work I had so thoroughly studied to try to help create positive change…. Slowly giving up, letting go, shaving my head and setting my business up in flames of truth by openly sharing my disappointment for my communities efforts along with my support for Israel -- my frustrations with the “hypocritical healer world” and my gratitude for trumps existence…. if there was anyone left I hadn’t triggered, well maybe they are my true audience:

And so the suffering & frustration that I went through like a pressure cooker -- made me step forward through a new portal that I wish to tell you all about……..

As my ceremonies dwindled and privates slowed to pretty much a standstill… at the most potent time of year for healing, in the most transformative year ever…… I began to question -- What is the point anyway?

What is the point in encouraging healing when people don’t have morals or community…. Sure they can heal their trauma, but then they are back in a world that is just as traumatised and unable to meet them in healthy enough ways for them to truly change their lives.

I see nothing but violence on my phone day after day, people totally sucked in to conspiracies and aggression and ego… Or totally avoidant of anything difficult. What is this world, I was thinking… & what’s the point in healing when it’s more than that…. Way more.

We cannot heal our way to humility or process our way to connection. It’s societal.

I had walked alone through roads of hell and travelled far and wide and sat in long drawn out suffering and silence and purged to the high heavens to be able to see the world somewhat clearly, sacrificing everything - and I'm fully aware - not everyone has the luxury, or time to do that.

After having spent the last 2 years reconnecting with old Israeli friends since the horrors of October the 7th, and making other new Jewish ones as the healer world that I knew simultaneously fell away… I really started to notice just how well rounded, structured and emotionally healthy those communities are… I can and could always depend on them, they say what they mean and mean what they say, even the ones I just met -- If I’m in trouble you can guarantee this community will support you if they can, without any judgement… And I also started to notice the self enquiry built into their practises & celebrations… The rest & gratitude built into their week via Shabbat, and the tolerance built into their relationships… And I started to notice in comparison how the rest of the world is.

And what is missing... Sure the practises that create inner awareness … But mostly I believe it’s religion -- or should I say the connection to God.

This came to me slowly yet strongly… like a rolling realisation incoming perhaps from the first time I visited Israel attending passover with my friends family - to the past weeks watching them collectively support the kidnapped hostages returning home and their soldiers post war. Religion or faith brings practises, community, morals and respect… That’s what we are missing. Yet where do we go from here — We threw the baby out with the bath water -- Became an atheist nation & then imported another religion and new age beliefs/conspiracies that seems to be set on destroying us and our freedom from the inside out, -- praying on frankly our weakness & vulnerability because we have no connection to God.

What a mess:

Over time -- a few of you may have noticed in conversations or in posts how much I was contemplating all of this.

I’ve been saying a while now -- To hell with it I’ll move to Israel… Maybe I’ll study the Torah… Become a Jew… Joking a first, then more and more serious….. Until last week, with this strong realisation of the fact we are missing God -- I started to seriously enquire…. I had started talking to God a couple of mornings & was already feeling mentally that this is the way to go for me. I had reached out to a distant friend who popped in my mind then immediately(coincidentally or not) on my Facebook feed…. She had had a born again experience, last year I believe….. But I hadn’t seen much online about her since the initial ecstatic outpouring that I guess in truth could look a bit cray cray. She soon got in touch and was excited for me…. She said she felt God was working on me -- and I would have to perhaps agree. I felt more peace in the 2 days I had prayed (talked to God) than I had in a long time…. The knowing was already there in my mind that God is the missing piece. She had told me that she had quite a powerful awakening after feeling completely suicidal, she prayed all night to Jesus. Coming from Jehova's witness cult upbringing(her words) -- This was quite a stretch for her she said... To be lead to pray to him… and to end up being washed in Jesus peace she said -- it was then undeniable (and a bit odd perhaps I thought but whatever floats your boat.) I poured out my heart to her in voice messages the long painful story of what got me to this point and my plans for Israel. She then gave me a couple of simple tips -- to consider asking God to reveal himself to me and even better to ask Jesus only if it felt right…. If you know me at all, this is totally out of character for me… Well I’ve studied religions, I’ve always been interested in all of it… Buddhism, yoga, Hinduism, Kabbalah… Mayan wisdom the lot. And growing up a catholic non practising yet I wasn’t disgusted by it - like most people if you mention the word religion, but it certainly was not on my radar. My thoughts were that Jesus for sure existed, and yes there is God and for sure I mentioned God a lot… Just a knowing… But something quite abstract, and there was no direct conversations going on. But I had never even thought about Jesus. So I began to talk with God… and about God deeply with a couple of friends… I was already convinced mentally that God was the missing piece. I mean look at the state of everything. So I was speaking into it a lot... and weirdly I had had a headache for 2 days… perhaps because my mind was opening so fast to this new thinking… I am very sensitive to the shifts in my body... So that Saturday night a few weeks back I had laid down on my bed, and thought to hell with it, and asked Jesus directly -- "OK Jesus - show me in tangible ways, so get rid of my headache."

Now I shit you not - the headache immediately lifted, and a wave of peace washed over me from my feet all the way up to my head - just like she had said.

I had never felt peace like this in my life.

And then, in my minds eye - I saw a women with a blue head scarf. Clear as day.

Now I know how bizare this might sound, or even just like sure - any old vision, but it was not. It was Jesus showing me that actually - he is the way. To God. Jesus is the way.

It's hard for me to even really explain - but I was so blown away by that experience, it smashed through so many layers of thinking... Was such a shift in consciousness I can totally see why people seemingly go crazy or become ecstatic bible bashers and look like they lost the plot.

It was like so much was landing in my head, so much was suddenly being understood.

This trip I had decided on to go study the books from the start... beginning with the Torah and out of nowhere - Jesus had appeared and opened my eyes and showed me that he is the way. He is the way and the truth.

Just wow.

It was such a visceral experience - and being such a feeler and so sensitive, it took me some days to truly land it into my body, but the feeling was undeniable.

It's as if Jesus showed me true peace and love, he came into my heart and he set me free.

(And yes I can hear myself saying all this shit and it sounds totally out there I know - but it is totally true)

I was already thinking - Wow we have all these books and all this information & teachings yet we are too proud or too trumatised maybe to consider reading them -- for sure a lot has been done in the churches name, but this is different. It isn't just religion... it is Jesus.

So it has opened a huge can of worms for me - so many questions, so many answers to contemplate, so many teachings to catch up on.... to decipher.

But it was that powerful I am looking at everything differently.

So since then, I have taken time to ground the experience and picked up my bible which was given to me at birth that I had never even looked at.

I'm watching the chosen and i'm truly starting to see EVERYTHING in a different light.

I am so thankful for this experience - how all these hard moments and letting go got me to that point that I could have such an experience, and be open to it.

And now I am taking it day by day - to see how exactly I implement this into my work.... Or is it just that I change so I can hold a deeper and more potent space... who knows lets see.....

All I know is that we don't need to carry it all ourselves,

No wonder we are all feeling so broken,

Because until we can truly be open to leaning on God via Christ perhaps... well, we are not plugged into the energy of the creator that is right there for us.

They say there is many paths to God and maybe there is..... but they also say do not worship idols and that satan works in many ways to trick deceive and mislead people away from God. And I can see that so much already.

It's all quite incredible if you ask me and my mind is blown.

So I shall leave it here for now - with this thought alone..... How can we believe in tarot and the stars and crystals having all the answers then overlook these magnificent teachings that have been sat there all along?

Genuinely.... I am no crazy fool, yet my eyes have been truly opened. Do reach out if you have had a similar experience I would love to hear about it... As apparently this is happening constantly worldwide and increasing - from Gaza to Australia and beyond..... God is showing himself, and often through visions or meetings with Jesus.

It's like being plugged into the main energy source. It's like taking a weight off. It's like letting go and letting God, and knowing it doesnt have to all come from me.... When you believe he starts to show himself more and more to you and wow what a blessing that is. And yes - I am serious. Lol.

More from me soon..... Lisa xxx